There are those that scoff and raise their eyebrows every time there is a discussion about monthly menstrual leave. The most unfortunate thing is that a large percentage of those that scoff are people who menstruate themselves. I have heard sentences like—“I don’t understand what the big deal is”, “I never have cramps”, “I have cramps but I don’t let it affect my work”—or some variation of these so often. Well, good for you! If you don’t suffer from the monthly horrors of cramps, then consider yourself very lucky. But don’t discount the experience of other people who do, because some of us suffer debilitating pain each month. I am one of many who suffer from pain that brings life to a grinding halt for a day or two every month.

I started menstruating at thirteen, and since then, the cramps have been coming each month without fail. I have even perfected a pain management regimen – pain relief medicine, hot tea, a heating pad, and several hours of lying in bed curled up in a fetal position. Over the years, the pain has only worsened. In college, it got so bad that sitting in class while I was having cramps became impossible. The walk from the academic block to my hostel used to be an ordeal. I would have to sit down every few feet to ensure I didn’t faint. Yes, it is that bad. The pain can make you faint.

People say that when you work and you’re distracted, the pain doesn’t affect you that much. Not true! Nothing changed for me even when I started working. The pain remained the same however, expectations to power through it increased. My first (male) boss never outright came and said it but I know I went down a notch in his respect every time I took some time off on account of my period pain. He was 40 years elder than me, a severe diabetic and probably suffered from more aches and pains than me. He worked through all that pain and most likely, wanted to set an example for me. While I admired his forbearance, it never changed the fact that I used to be in severe agony every month. Today there is only one thing I would say to him – comparing my pain with yours or with anyone else’s pain is like comparing apples and oranges. The types of pain, their intensity and our body’s ability to tolerate them are different, which is why our manner of coping with them also has to be different.

Over the years, I have worked with several organisations. At each place, some time or the other, I had to take leave because of pain from excessive cramping. I have mostly worked with male bosses, who more out of embarrassment than any genuine sympathy, would allow my request for leave. Each time, I asked for leave I felt guilty for doing so as if I was asking for time off just to play truant. For all the talk of work-life balance, at every place, I felt that there was an unwritten rule – work trumps health, work trumps pain, work comes first! I may offend a few people by saying this but very few of us are doing work which is so important that pushing it by a day becomes a matter of life and death. Maybe a few surgeons, judges, and cops can say that; but for the rest of us, our work can accommodate a day’s delay. A day, because that’s how long menstrual leave is.

Nowhere that I have ever worked has there been a menstrual leave policy. Menstrual leave is paid leave that you can take on the first or second day of your monthly period. It is an institutional policy that allows you to take it easy on tough days, without making you feel guilty for not choosing to power through the pain. Wherever I worked, I tried to bring up the discussion of menstrual leave. Almost always, was the idea shot down. My understanding is that even today, most men and quite a lot of women believe that menstrual leave is not needed or that if allowed, it will just be an excuse for women to play truant for a day.

Let me address my fellow women first – Isn’t there something like maternity leave? Do those of us who don’t have children, accuse those of you who have of taking maternity leave to enjoy yourselves for 3 months? We don’t. Real hard work goes into being a new mother, that it is a difficult time and women need the support that maternity leave provides. Think of menstrual leave exactly like that, just because you don’t experience cramps, or you don’t need or want to take menstrual leave, does not mean you get to say that those of us who need menstrual leave take it only to play truant from work. Don’t use it if you don’t need it, but don’t deny other women this option.

Now for the men, I suggest a trade. I am willing to work five extra days in a month for which you will get paid, in exchange for you taking on one day of work with my type of menstrual cramps. The day that trade is possible, I’ll stop talking about menstrual leave. Till then, think about your moms, sisters, daughters, wives and female friends – it will not be only I who will benefit from menstrual leave, they will too.

People, period pain is real. It’s high time organisations think of women and their specific needs, especially if they want happy and productive employees. Menstrual leave is a small step towards that!